The Emotional Bomb Suit We Wear for Love—and How to Take It Off

What if the very thing you thought was keeping your relationship safe… was actually keeping you stuck?

That’s the conversation I had with Emily Gangell, and wow—this one cracked something open.

Emily is a writer, a mom, and someone who’s been quietly doing the messy, sacred work of healing in the middle of marriage, motherhood, and trauma. When I read her viral Substack post, Love Is a Battlefield, I instantly saw myself in her words. She described what it’s like to live in a relationship while wearing an emotional bomb suit—always ready to protect, perform, and survive, even when no one’s actively attacking.

And I knew I had to have her on the show.

In our episode, we talk about:

• What happens when you know the trauma but don’t know what to do with it

• How survival mode affects your kids—even if you’re trying to shield them

• Why boundaries aren’t aggressive—they’re sacred

• And how both of us learned the hard way that healing starts with our own nervous system

Emily dropped so many truths, but the one that’s stayed with me is this:

“It’s a blueprint. It’s not who you are.”

That hit me like a ton of bricks. Because if you’ve ever felt ashamed of your patterns… like you’re doing it all wrong… like maybe you’re the problem—this is your reminder: you’re not broken. You’re just following a blueprint you didn’t choose. And guess what? You can learn to build something new.

✨ The Real Deal: 3 Big Takeaways from This Episode

1. Awareness Isn’t Enough—Action Is What Heals
Emily said what so many of us feel: “I’ve read the books, but nothing’s changing.” It wasn’t until she took action—through therapy, bodywork, boundaries—that healing finally began. I had to learn that in my own marriage, too. Awareness is the first step… but it’s not the whole staircase.

2. Silence Can Be a Legacy—Until You Break It
One of the most emotional moments in our conversation? When Emily realized her son was struggling to speak up at school… because she hadn’t been using her own voice at home. Our silence teaches more than we think. But it’s never too late to rewrite that legacy.

3. Boundaries Aren’t Rejection—They’re Repair
Emily shared how something as simple as “I’m not engaging in this” was a game-changer for her nervous system—and her marriage. Boundaries don’t mean you’re shutting your partner out. They mean you’re creating safety, clarity, and peace—for everyone.

🎬 Ready to Watch?

This episode is for every woman who’s thought: I’m doing all the right things, but I still feel so stuck.

If that’s you, you are so not alone—and this conversation might just be the first step toward something new.

👉 Watch the full episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal now:
🎥 Watch Here 

👉 Read Emily’s full post, “Love Is a Battlefield,” here:
📖 https://emilygangell.substack.com/p/love-is-a-battlefield

If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend. You never know who’s quietly surviving in a bomb suit of their own.

And if you’re ready to stop surviving and start healing, I’d love to talk. Book a free call with me and let’s explore what your next steps could look like—together.  Book Here

💛
Danielle