Immigrant Roots To Trauma Pioneer: Pia's Journey

What if the challenges you keep bumping into in your relationship aren’t really about you—but about unhealed trauma that’s quietly shaping the way you and your partner connect?

That’s exactly what I explored in my latest episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal with my guest, Pia Valenzuela Escudero. And let me tell you, Pia’s story is as inspiring as it is practical.

Meet Pia Valenzuela Escudero

Pia’s journey began as an immigrant child, navigating a new culture, a new language, and the complicated experience of trying to belong while her family carried hidden pain. Those early challenges gave her a unique compassion for families working so hard to build a better future while still wrestling with the past.

Today, Pia is a nationally recognized mental health leader and trauma-informed care expert. With over 30 years of public service, she’s passionate about disrupting intergenerational and historical trauma and helping children, families, and communities thrive.

At the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD), Pia led the nation’s largest school-based wellness team. She also pioneered the groundbreaking Cognitive Behavioral Intervention for Trauma in Schools (CBITS) program with LAUSD, the RAND Corporation, and UCLA. CBITS was the first-ever evidence-based group program proven to help kids reduce post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and other trauma-related struggles — and it’s now being used across the country.

But beyond the research and accolades, Pia carries her own personal story of how trauma can impact relationships. That lived experience fuels her mission to break cycles of conflict, disconnection, and pain — and to replace them with connection, safety, and hope.

The Real Deal: 3 Takeaways from Pia

So what can we learn from Pia’s wisdom and experience? Here is The Real Deal — three big takeaways you can start applying in your relationship today:

1️⃣ See the story behind the reaction.
Trauma doesn’t always look like trauma. It shows up in how we argue, disconnect, or shut down. Instead of taking everything personally, pause and ask: What might really be going on underneath this reaction?

2️⃣ Stop trying to “fix” and start creating safety.
Your partner doesn’t need you to solve their pain. What they need is your steadiness, your compassion, and the sense that the relationship is safe. That’s where real healing begins.

3️⃣ Remember that healing is bigger than you.
Every small step you take toward breaking cycles of conflict in your relationship ripples out — to your kids, your family, and your community. Healing your relationship is part of creating a more just and hopeful world.

Final Thoughts

Pia’s story is one of resilience, innovation, and hope. And if you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of conflict or disconnection in your own relationship, her message is clear: change is possible.

Healing doesn’t happen all at once. It happens one safe, intentional step at a time.

👉 Ready to hear more of Pia’s story and her wisdom? [Watch or listen to the full episode here.]