From NICU Babies to Broken Systems: A Trauma Educator’s Fight for Connection

What If It’s Not Bad Behavior? The Interview Every Caregiver, Educator, and Partner Needs to Hear

with trauma educator Madelyn Wright

What if the behaviors we’re quick to punish—meltdowns, shutdowns, defiance—aren’t actually “bad behavior,” but signs of an overwhelmed nervous system doing its best to survive?

In this powerful episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, I sat down with trauma educator Madelyn Wright, founder of Connecting Stories LLC, and someone whose work is changing the way families, schools, and communities respond to trauma.

From growing up in a home that fostered NICU infants to becoming a certified TBRI® Practitioner and HALO Facilitator, Maddy shares how trauma begins earlier than we think—and how the right support can literally rewire a child’s future. But this episode isn’t just for parents or professionals. It’s for anyone trying to navigate challenging behavior in their relationship, workplace, or community.

Because when we understand what’s behind the behavior, we respond differently—and that response can change everything.

💥 The Real Deal: My 3 Biggest Takeaways

1. Behavior is communication. Always.
Whether it’s a tantrum, withdrawal, defensiveness, or stonewalling—it’s not just behavior. It’s a message. I’ve seen this in my own marriage. When I stopped reacting and started asking, “What’s the need behind this?”, everything shifted. The goal isn’t control. It’s connection.

2. Trauma starts early—even in the womb.
Maddy shared how babies coming from the NICU already show signs of trauma. That hit me hard. The earlier we recognize dysregulation and unmet needs, the earlier we can intervene with compassion. It’s not about fixing—it’s about seeing what’s really going on.

3. Stop managing people. Start understanding them.
So many of us—especially partners of trauma survivors—spend years trying to manage or fix behavior. But true change happens when we get curious instead of controlling. Whether it’s your spouse, your child, or a colleague, take a breath and ask, “What happened to them?” instead of “What’s wrong with them?”

🎥 Watch the Full Episode

This is one of those conversations that will shift the way you show up in every relationship. You can catch the full interview here:

• Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/share/1BqryS1u4z/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/live/UOvrpVpvR44?si=R3QhHo_3lHpZgYg2
• Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1830888391
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VxyJh2rXnBnpeV8d7Adqi?si=a44c1066ed534810

Whether you’re a caregiver, a teacher, or someone loving a trauma survivor—this episode is for you.

More From Maddie:

Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain

Book Recommendations: 

Trauma-Informed Digital Resource Folder - CLICK HERE

Website:  CLICK HERE