Breaking Generational Cycles: A Conversation with Emily Cleghorn

Emily Cleghorn is a Trigger Recovery Coach, author, cycle breaker, and mom of three who’s made it her life’s mission to help other mothers stop the trauma cycle—for good. After growing up in a home shaped by silence, fear, and emotional wounds, Emily is now raising her own children in a radically different way: with emotional safety, compassion, and healing at the center.

When I sat down with her for this episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, I knew we were going to talk about parenting. What I didn’t expect was how deeply her words would speak to every partner, every mom, and every person who's trying to rewrite their story while still living inside it.

Emily doesn’t sugarcoat the work—but she shows us how doable it can be with the right tools, intention, and support.

Here are my 3 biggest takeaways from our conversation that I know will stick with me—and hopefully with you too.

1. You Can’t Break Cycles Without Doing Preventative Work

Emily said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“We don’t break these cycles without doing preventative work.”

It’s not enough to say, “I’ll never yell like my parents did.” The work is in learning to regulate your own nervous system before you get overwhelmed. Emily shared how she began co-regulating with her kids, even when their cries sent her into panic. She built what she calls a “trigger toolbox”—and she uses it in the moment, not just afterward.

As someone who coaches partners of trauma survivors, I know this too well: Prevention isn’t about perfection—it’s about preparation. And Emily models that beautifully.

2. Vulnerability Can Be the Doorway to Deeper Connection

One of the most touching parts of Emily’s story was when she finally opened up to her husband. For years, she kept her trauma locked away, terrified he’d leave if he really knew. But one rainy Saturday, she took the risk.

“I told him everything… and instead of leaving, he said, ‘How do we fix this?’”

That. Right there.

So many of the women I support are holding in their pain, afraid to be a burden. But Emily reminded us that sometimes the thing we fear most—honest vulnerability—is actually what unlocks intimacy. Her courage to speak up helped turn her husband into an anchor instead of a threat.

3. We Heal Ourselves and Our Families

Emily’s mission goes beyond her own healing. She’s building resources and tools for other moms who want to raise emotionally intelligent kids—even if they didn’t grow up with those tools themselves.

That’s not easy work. But it’s world-changing.

She said:

“I want to see my family flourish, but I also want to provide support so other families can flourish and heal.”

That hit home for me. Because at the heart of all my work with wives and partners is the same dream: a future that isn’t ruled by the past. A family that doesn’t repeat what it barely survived. A relationship where healing is shared—not shouldered alone.

Final Thoughts:

Emily is proof that trauma doesn’t have to be the end of your story—it can be the start of your legacy.

Whether you’re a parent trying to stay calm through a meltdown, a wife trying to love someone who’s still healing, or a cycle-breaker trying to figure it out as you go… this episode will speak to you.

🎥 Watch the full episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal with Emily [HERE] and learn practical, heart-centered tools you can start using today.

You're not alone—and you're not the problem.